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(recording of the show)
080808 Upstage festival

Grand Uncle was on the air at FAQ Radio, fielding calls from people on the trail of missing relatives, including the missing Micheal Finch, who may have run off to Australia to meet with Kathy, or may have been holed up by ex-wife Jenny who wants to declare him dead and claim the insurance. The radio show unfolded, together with songs for each of the callers, and line drawings the signified each of the callers, and sometimes started sliding into each other.
- Bree Hadley for (full review)

23min 54sec (19.1Mb) - quicktime file - please patience!



15 minutes till our next show...
uncle; yes!
uncle; welcome sit down and relax!
CDeater; hi
uncle; we are on standby at radio FAQ
CDeater; god I hope something interesting comes on the radio today
uncle; we will be soon on air
 lets hope so!
uncle; another 10 minutes
 I will be patient
uncle; good
uncle; good on you!
uncle; wait, be patient
uncle; cof cof
 no choice
uncle; well we can chat
uncle; tell your story
uncle; who did you come here?
uncle; heu i meant how
 I performed in Binding
uncle; how did you come here?
uncle; how did you hear about FAQ?
uncle; testing
uncle; testing
 well everyone is talking about it
 I am part of 08/08/08
uncle; ah!
uncle; i am pleased to hear
 I was out searching for Esme
 Well, i'm an Israeli art critic researching net art. I'm not actually totally sure where i got to or what this is.
uncle; wel test audiowas ok
uncle; mic is on... but still on standby
 its fine
uncle; did you hear audience my test?
 are you in Tel Aviv?
uncle; my audio test?
 only your voice
 ionly heard voice
 not radio show
 oh i hear it now!
 yes i read rhte radio
 yes I hear
uncle; now
 it came in and out
uncle; did you hear the jingle?
uncle; good!
 for a bit
uncle; thanks!
uncle; jungle?
uncle; juggling with audio
CDeater; your ears are working fine
 jingle jangle
CDeater; that is important
uncle; my set up on backdeck is a bit precarious
CDeater; but not essential
uncle; well good amateur!
uncle; the essential is to get your stories!
uncle; any story here?amongst audience whike we wait?
CDeater; i have no stary
uncle; i can interview you
CDeater; stary story
 scary story?
uncle; scary story?
uncle; snap!
CDeater; squary story
 I thought it was from the stars
uncle; 6 minutes to go
CDeater; story about stairs
 to haven?
CDeater; who u staring at?
CDeater; me?
 oh yes
CDeater; now I'm nervous
CDeater; feeling hungry
 sorry.  we'll all look the other way
uncle; yes
uncle; i need breakfast on my deck
 I just read the sisters blog
CDeater; oh look some c deez!
uncle; nobody brought croissants ....yet!
CDeater; I love to eat c deez
 starting soon
 croissants? its the middle of the night here
CDeater; while the radio is not on
 i have a glass of wine
uncle; oh good on you you can navigate the blogs? i had an assistant helping me for that
 some ice cream?
CDeater; wine with my c deez
 I am having sauvignon blanc
CDeater; yum yum yum
uncle; oh! sauvignon!
 I found it but I am worried for her
CDeater; burp
 beaujolais in england
uncle; well here in Australia we have cabernet
CDeater; cab sav
uncle; people call it cab sav
 you're cabernet makers?
 cabernet for breakfast?
uncle; snap!
uncle; cab sav...horrible name! no?
CDeater; cab sav with snags
uncle; cabernet sauvignon!
CDeater; o la la
 oh it sounds so sexy!
uncle; oh well it is morning or end of night it depends the way you look at it!
CDeater; I'm getting horny
CDeater; i mean hungry
 suuuuure you do
 almost 7 pm here
 from eating CDs?
uncle; 8.28am here in OZ
uncle; another 2 minutes
 2 minutes
 you never now....
uncle; snap!
 oneminute to go
CDeater; horny from uncle's sexy accent
CDeater; it drives my drive
uncle; yes i change accent according if i am on air or not!
uncle; dont worry about that!
 it is sacry
uncle; i am flexible
 how flexible exactly?
 your plastic or metal?
uncle; hmm
CDeater; see u later
uncle; let see
uncle; standby!
uncle; ready!
uncle; go!
 poor esme
 hey hey
 this are nice animations
 what is the number?
 can we call now?
 let's do that
 it's morning?
 bring bring
 oh! telephone!
 you too1
 I love FAQ
 it's my fave
[gisela] {i think that was esme}
 mine too!
 hello! hi! hello!
phonebox; inset another coin please
 i love uncle!
[gisela] {my little sister}
[Esme] { is that her?}
[gisela] {maybe Esme will call me}
 who is this?
 esme's sister
[Esme] { she sounds older}
[gisela] {i have tried so hard to find her}
 what is teh number?
[gisela] {i have been writing a blog about her}
[Esme] { hmmm bossy as usual}
 ooooh a blog
[gisela] {maybe esme has seen it and that is why she called Grand Uncle?}
[Esme] { find me please}
[Esme] { I want to leave}
[gisela] {i miss esme}
 grand uncle!
 grand uncle called the police?
[Esme] { she swears!}
 no, it's FAQ
 oh no!
 not swearing!
 no sweraing in this show!
 beautiful drawing
 I love your show too
 beautiful bird :)
[uncle] {tara on the air}
[uncle] {calling from the US of faaaaqing A}
crow1; ouch
crow1; that burns
uncle; get off my turntable you stupid bird!
 faaaq it all
 what are these birds here?
crow1; its turning under my feet
 red pipe!
uncle; where did you come from anyway?
 wooooooooooooo jimi!!!!!!!!!!!!
 is this pipe form collor race?
uncle; why are you here?
crow1; from the bush
 the winner of race!
 pipe is not a pipe
 from mersnet
 go my way!
uncle; please get off my head, its rather uncomfortable.
crow1; here to annoy
 no way that's a pipe
uncle; shoo
uncle; shoooo
 where is your pipe?
crow1; great music huh?
crow1; uncle rocks
 why is so red!
 tara know
crow3; more more
uncle; my pipe is hot
 cos it is HOT?
 's her rockin' tunes
 I like the original soundtrack
 Are we going to call Esme now?
crow1; ouch
crow1; ouch
crow1; ouch
 fried chicken?
crow1; burns
 for breakfast?
uncle; are you going to go my way?
crow1; burn it up
 raven s are cool
 like bird?
 no thanx
crow1; uncle fa q
crow1; fa q
 bloody birds
 white birds
 fa cue 2
 black birds
 but where is CD eater?
 look! it's gisele
[heather] {that's brynne!}
 burn bird burn!
[heather] {i love her}
[heather] {she is soooo cooool}
[diaryW] {you can put her on your blog but who reads it anyway?}
 byrnne baby byrnne
 what is name of this song?
[heather] {i wrote her on my blog}
 does she have a CD?
 it got eaten
[laptop] { everyone reads blogs}
[heather] {hope she puits out a cd}
[laptop] { get off me}
[heather] {OMG!!}
 her CD? eaten?
 peter smith!!!!
[heather] {that's my dad}
diaryW; no
[laptop] { cruddy book}
 not THE peter smith!
 better eaten than piped!
[laptop] { go away}
[heather] {how utterly embarrassing!}
[laptop] { obselete}
 piped=burn with pipe!
[diaryW] {you can't shake me off}
[heather] {no more joints mum says}
 ok, sure
[laptop] { I can shut you out}
diaryW; faq you
[heather] {what happening with my diary?}
[heather] {i like this one}
 5 minutes more likely
 go bob
 can we choose music too?
 i want Bob Marley!
[heather] {i feel free}
 it's a high speed chase
 a chase anyway
 i want Jimi Hendrix!!!!
 Jimi!!! Jimi!!!
 you promised!@
 what is this radio?
 just callers, no music?!
[michael finch] {what she doesn't know is, Jenny and I wanted me to be declared dead so I could pay off my debts with the insurance money}
 no addvertismnets?
 what a bitch!
 talk, talk, talk
[michael finch] {I hid in my own attic and drew faces of people who left me phone messages}
 and now we have to listen her instead of Jimi?!
[michael finch] {faces I would probably never see again}
 we want Jimi!
[michael finch] {I went to Australia to start a new life}
[michael finch] {and met Kathy}
[michael finch] {now that's over too}
 Lizzy Lizzard
 I think I see him in that car there
[michael finch] {maybe i should speak to uncle}
 i want more Brynne!
 the elusive michael finch
 i want Jimi!
 phone home michael!
 and Brunne too!
 again red line form race collor
 hey, red, go back to your show!
[michael finch] {its Kathy!}
 this is radio, not sport arena!!!
 ok, red, you are a winner! go to yourshow now
[michael finch] {you're right, this isn't a game}
[michael finch] {leave ME alone Kathy}
[michael finch] {why won't you let me be}
 and for me?!
 i ordered Brynne!
 please call michael
 half hour ago
 that s right!
 i sabotaged her call!
[heather] {jeez mum!}
 she was such a...
 wife of a wanker?
 sounds like a real mother
 ok, mum, we know your story!
[heather] {he's gonna take me to visit grand uncle}
[heather] {oops}
 ooo who drew that?
 is it your mother heather?
[heather] {muuum}
 naughty girl
 mum needs a doctor!
 call thje Pezs!
[heather] {oh no}
[heather] {thanks mum}
 oh no
[heather] {yay!!}
heather; brynne!!
[heather] {i so relate to this}
 Brynne! Brynne! Brynne!
 thank you uncle!!!
[heather] {time for me to DISAPPEAR!!}
 e love you!
 ok, go
[heather] {aaaahhh}
 Brynne says don't disappear
[heather] {ok}
 Simon says touch your toes
[heather] {i'm going to see uncle}
 now i can sleep
 no Kathy, you are a liar!
tv; here we see esme
 Let go of it already Kathy
 don't lie anymore!
[michael finch] {i am not a drawing!}
tv; she is leaving her village
tv; to search for her sister
 sure, her TV village
[michael finch] {who is this woman on tele?}
tv; she will go anywhere
tv; even australia
[michael finch] {i think i know her!}
 but she lives in TV?! good god
tv; how ever she can
 it's madaphysics
tv; even by row boat
[michael finch] {maybe on the way to OZ}
 Televised Kathy!
tv; she must see gisela again
tv; she's had enough of homelessness
 you are good actress, sure!
[michael finch] {ho! this Kathy!}
 yes yes! out of time!
 nice deck
uncle; hi!
 play Jimi!
 no Jenny!
 hi Uncle!
 not jenny, jimi
 again race collor
gisela; d/a 2
 hot pipe!
gisela; esme!!
uncle; this is my backdeck!
 red smoke?
uncle; cof cof
gisela; its you!!
 i have frequently asked questions
uncle; hi dear!
gisela; so glad to see you
uncle; oh!
gisela; hi uncle
uncle; everybody is here
 it's the big gettogether!
 time to partay!
uncle; finch
michael finch; hi uncle
gisela; thankss for helping me meet esme again
uncle; hold by cherry
uncle; gisela
heather; hi all
[heather] {uncle!}
uncle; hold by ???
[heather] {OMG}
[Esme] { hello sister}
 nice fellow
 cry, uncle
uncle; heather
uncle; esme
uncle; all together
 oh, the big get together!
uncle; yep!
uncle; cof cof
 one big happy ...
 you need a doctor?
uncle; end of this story!
 a Pez?
uncle; send my yours!
 we want more!
uncle; who knows i will be able to interview you for next 090909
 clap clap clap
 i will send you!
 we want more!
 that was amazing
 my story! and it is true one, not fake
 clap clap clap!
 Go uncle - keep up the good work!
uncle; amazing!
uncle; you are all amazing!
zzz_mysterious; thanks
 yes, keep it!
uncle; thank you for listening
uncle; radio needs fans!
 i really love you uncle!
 great job uncle
 and faq u 2
uncle; FAQ F...... you
 even in Waipukarau
 FA Q to you too
 your voice, your sound, every inch of your voice!!!
zzz_mysterious; fa q all
uncle; love you all
 don't go!
 thanks you were great!
uncle; come on my backdeck
 broadcast for us!
 mali and chad are warming up
 audience go see mali and chad
uncle; some days it is full of mist like yesterday but today was fine!
 and you will be there?
 click on the link on stage to move through
zzz_mysterious; fa q go see mali
 and you ?
 don't want to gowithout you!
 going to see Mali's drawing byeeee
 without your voice! no way!
zzz_mysterious; fa q go without us
uncle; go and see Mali and Chad
 ka kite ano
uncle; they are twins
 come on through folks
 show starts in 5 minutes
uncle; 6 years old twins
uncle; they prepared a great story for you!
uncle; warm up over there!
uncle; bye!
 will that be with your vcoice or without?
uncle; c u next time!
 tell us!
 teall us goodbye fir the last time
 he is gone
 will he ever come back?
 bye bye uncle
 we will miss you
 what about my Jimi? you promised
 anyone here?